Many of us hope and expect that our boss will turn out to be a great coach and mentor, someone who guides us with the wisdom of experience, supports us with training and constructive feedback, gives us challenging and meaningful assignments, promotes our successes to upper management, and always has our career path and best interests in mind. Some of us are lucky enough to find that kind of boss – maybe once, in our entire career.

But for the most part, we find bosses who are almost as lost in the organization as we are, trying to prove themselves, find meaning in their work, and plot their own career path as best they can. Some managers came by the title due to technical experience alone and have little talent or interest in the "people management" part of their duties. Others want to be managers, but are so wrapped up in the role that their attempts to guide and support the team seem self-serving.

Either way, as an employee, you are powerless until you have worked out a way to effectively manage your boss.

Wait a minute, you ask. Isn’t that presumptuous? Since when do I manage my boss? Isn’t it his job to manage me? Yes. Technically it is. But chances are 9 to 1 that your boss does not know all your hopes, dreams, talents, skills and interests. That he or she doesn’t have a clear idea of where you want to be in five or ten years or a major investment in getting you there. If your boss does, appreciate the relationship as the diamond it is, and you can stop reading this article right now.

But the rest of us have a clear choice to make. One is to sit back and let our boss manage the relationship with us. We may learn something, we may get lucky, but we won’t have control over our destiny, and there is no guarantee that we will move forward in our career. And the second is to create a strategy to work effectively with our boss. This is possible, no matter who or how difficult your
boss is. You can get started by taking the following steps.

1. See your boss as a person, not your parent or teacher.
Your current relationship with your boss probably has a lot to do with how well you’ve worked with authority figures in your past. If something your boss does angers you, ask yourself what you were expecting – and what kind of people in your life you would expect this from.

2. Let go of your boss’s faults
Every human needs to grow and improve in several areas. Your boss has a right to his faults, just as you do. Recognize this, and choose NOT to emulate the characteristics that aren’t effective in the workplace. In fact, as you develop a stronger relationship with your boss, you may be able to help him become more effective.

3. Know what you can learn from your boss.
No matter how incompetent or inexperienced your boss appears to you, she most likely has at least one thing on you. She probably has more experience or technical expertise in at least one area related to your job. She also may be more effective at handling difficult situations at work. Look for what she does well – this represents an excellent opportunity for you to improve your own skills.

4. Step into your boss’s shoes
Remember that your boss also has a boss. Lower level supervisors and managers often feel less power than their own employees because they feel pressure from above and below. Directors and Vice Presidents often find themselves caught in a very competitive political game, whether they want to be there or not. Even the owner of the company has competitors to fight with, customers to fight for, and lots of uncertainty to deal with. If you know what your boss is trying to figure out or accomplish, you will have a better understanding of his priorities and how you and your work fit in.

5. Learn your boss’s preferred communication style
How does your boss prefer to communicate? Does she respond better to ideas presented in written proposals, formal presentations, or casual suggestions in meetings or hallway conversations? Does she give direct feedback openly or prefer private "behind closed doors" meetings? Does she like voice mail or e-mail better? If you adapt to her way of communicating, you have a better chance of getting attention when you need it.

6. Know how your boss tracks results
Formal progress reports are great – but don’t be fooled by them. Some bosses don’t read them until review time, and depend on casual conversations to know what’s going on. Regardless of how your boss takes in information, it’s essential for him to quickly retrieve information he needs about you. This is key to your success, both at review time, and when he happens to be having a conversation with his own boss about a project you are involved with. Make sure you are tracking your own progress and taking responsibility to keep him informed in his way, so he’ll have your list of successes at his fingertips when he needs it. This is different from "tooting your horn". If you brag or boast arrogantly, you will annoy your boss as well as your co-workers. Responsible progress reporting is succinct, easy to remember, and tangibly tied to the objectives of the team or project.

7. Know your own needs
What do you need from your boss? What kind of direction or feedback do you need on your work? How often do you prefer to communicate? Know what your boss can do to best support your success. Communicate this to your boss in professional and tangible terms. And make it easy for her to comply. For example, "I work best when given a written checklist of objectives for a project, because I then use my checklist to keep me focused". If your boss prefers to describe the project to you verbally, ask permission to take notes, and show her your "list of objectives" to get agreement and start you on the right foot.

8. Find a good coach or mentor
We all need support and guidance in our career. What we forget sometimes is that our boss is not our only resource. Take responsibility for creating at least three support systems in your life, and in a time of transition, increase that number to five. Besides family and a small circle of positive, supportive friends, find some people with the expertise you need to be successful. Find one or more mentors through a formal mentorship program or by networking. Create your own personal "advisory board" or success group with others in your field. Hire a coach. Enroll in trainings and workshops. Join professional associations. Keep in mind that each professional connection you have outside of your current work system will enlarge your perspective, and your network. And THAT makes your relationship with your boss a less significant factor in your career success. You would be amazed at how much easier it is to get along with your boss when so much less is at stake.

Take these steps and separate yourself from the personality and competence level of your boss. Then you can look at the bigger picture and create a strategy to get where you want to be in your career – on track and on purpose.

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